


Soppy

by Missy



Category: Army of Darkness (1992), Evil Dead (Movies), Evil Dead - All Media Types
Genre: Alternate Universe - Detectives, Alternate Universe - Soulmates, Established Relationship, F/M, Humor
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-07-04
Updated: 2016-07-04
Packaged: 2018-07-20 01:55:17
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 327
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7386142
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Missy/pseuds/Missy
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>A completely random detective/soul mate AU</p>
            </blockquote>





	Soppy

The body was stone-still under the sheets. “Whelp. He’s dead.”

Sheila raised an eyebrow. “Yes, I assumed from his stillness. And the fact that he’s not breathing.”

“Is this some kinda riff on the last vic we took in? Because he felt plenty dead to me, it’s not my fault the guy’s heart restarted when we dumped him in i-“ She pressed an index finger over his lips.

“Shh!”

Ash glowered at the woman as she turned around and started measuring bullet wounds and abrasion scars. This was just his luck that the woman he was destined to share his life with was also a pain in the ass. And a smart-ass. And, okay – just plain SMART.

Ash wasn’t one to complain, but it’d’ve been cool if his soulmate wasn’t the new rookie queen of the unit, who had solved three cold case homicides in four months. She made Ash look like a total slacker and, okay, maybe Ash was a total slacker, but at least he TRIED to solve shit, all right? It wasn’t his fault that John kept deliberately assigning him busy work. It also wasn’t his fault that he had an inch-long mile of text that consisted entirely of Sheila’s self-introduction to him. He had in detail her career history on his skin.

She had two words under the curve of her right breast (which he’s traced multiple times with his tongue during their two year relationship). “Uh. Hi.”

Yeah. The universe hated him hard-fucking-core.

“Dear?” she said, glancing up from her pad, making a final notation. “Why don’t we get lunch and run some names? I think I have an idea of what we’re looking for.”

“Lucky you,” he said. “I already found it.”

She rolled her eyes. “So soppy,” she said.

And patted his hand briefly on the way through the door, leaving a red line of the back of his hand.

Maybe Ash wasn’t as fucked as he thought.

Yeah. Maybe.


End file.
